I had to think long and hard about this. Let's make it a bit different. I can't use Byron to stage a burger crawl and judge which buns are best from that. I can't source ox meat in the short amount of time there is for me to run this thing, so the 'ultimate man burger' was out. I'm really not in the mood to faux-distress my site and import hewn wood and neon signage to attract hipsters in to eat these burgers from a tricycle for £8.50. Fries extra. This will not become yet another blogger raving about the appearance of 'dirty food' who says any eating with a tablecloth, cutlery and waiters involved is dead, and menus that combine words like 'dry-aged 28-day Aberdeen Angus blend' with 'these are the fucking business' under one item are where it's at. No. It will be none of this. And anyway, this kind of pop food became big in New York a few years ago, barbecue's been around for ages and I knew about Bodean's before pulled pork became a dry and stringy ode to bandwagon-jumping. So - this is a burger revolution. A mashup of all the burgers that food bloggers love with my own tastes thrown in as well. Welcome to the skunkworks, where meat, bread and topping ministers point me to perfection. Cachaça away now, I promise.